belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
