Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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