what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
