I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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