u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
