My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
