I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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