I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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