you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
