Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
