I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.