He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
