You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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