evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
