and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
