Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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