How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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