hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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