You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
