He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
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Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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