what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
