Your face is a jimmy john
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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