addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
