Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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