my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
