it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Life is so much better after having sex.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
