I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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