i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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