From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
