Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
