Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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