so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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