Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
