I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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