is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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