genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
