that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
