just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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