Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
