If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
