my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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