Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
being pregnant is like rehab
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
