The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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