Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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