I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
