omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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