I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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