You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
