dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
