Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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