she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
