We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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