if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
