I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He better not be in your backpack
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
