I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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