if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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