ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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