I must be too annoying 4 u.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
