Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
