So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
