Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize