Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
